My job as a content analyst - writing about tech and software - is a big priority for me, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to work hard. It means I'm always on – replying to emails at all hours, and bringing my work laptop home at night. But while I'm doing well in my career, my personal life admin is a mess. I have endless to-do lists that I never complete. Recently, I even made a list of lists and sectioned it off into the different rooms of my flat, with a weekly list of chores to do by each room.
Then I have a list of appointments I need to make, and a shopping list I know I’ll never buy half the stuff on, like ingredients to make packed lunches for the week in order to save money. I often send myself reminder emails the night before I get into work, so when I’m at my desk, they’re at the top of my inbox.
It’s my way of trying to stay in control of my spiralling life admin, but when I end up not doing the things on my list, I’m left feeling even more overwhelmed. Then I bury my head in the sand so I don’t have to think about everything I’m not doing - and end up less productive than before. It’s a vicious circle.
And it’s about more than about making lists. I tend to break my life up into compartments: work, relationship, friends, and family. I want to give all of them equal attention, but I can’t do that because there just isn't enough time, so then I feel stressed, guilty, and permanently tired.
I overcommit constantly but always manage to make my deadlines with work. The sacrifices are more in my social life where I’ve ended up having to cancel nights out last minute and let down friends who end up angry and disappointed.
It’s affecting all areas of my life and I just don’t see an end in sight. This is the main symptom of ‘millennial burnout’, according to British psychotherapist Beverley Hills. While the condition isn’t medically recognised, Hills says it is something she has seen in her clients.
“You can feel stress, insomnia, self-doubt, cynicism, and as though you're in a void, like, ‘How can I possibly succeed when there are not enough resources left for me?’ There will be emotional exhaustion, a feeling of dissatisfaction, inadequacy, and also anger, and maybe physical pain that could take the form of Fibromyalgia or constant feelings of ‘unwellness'," she says.
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